Issue 4 "Jonny Axx: ninethree pt1"

Hey I dont want you to comment or review, because I can't get you guys to do that. But mine as well go for a good read. I got three days of BriWorld this week, some art for dasien on friday, and the "sprite comic stunt traffic spike" I decided to put something of mine out to show off as well. I hope you enjoy.

Towers

p.s. I was kidding about that commenting or reviewing thing. feel free.

this issue seemed a lot shorter than the other 3.

oh, and just to make a note, the fight in the psych ward in the 1st issue, where he's racking up a tonyhawkstyle combo, i'd call it classic if it'd ever been done before, and in issue 2 the polaroid, "this is me on the edge of sanity" with hi mom written on it. that was the coolest thing i've seen in a long time.

josh.

It was shorter. I am dropping down to a 22 page format...for the most part. Time and energy consratints. I am still trying to learn how to write and pace stories. The big prob I had with the first third of the story arch was pacing in general. I am still learning how to do this.
As far as I know, that tony hawk point thing had never been done before, or anything like it! It happened as kinda an inside joke then got to be a perminent fixure. Your the second person in two days to talk about that...
The poloroid thing was a running theme in that issue. I liked that one, the "this is me doing the stupid thing I've ever done" was a little better, but eventually it got edited. Sorry.
Thank you for the comments, I wish I could get more feedback, its frustrating people will review a comic that people put no time into forever, and never let it die. But some one who is practically begging for a good critique, can't get one.
I find it repulsive that I had to do a F'ing sprite comic to get traffic.

Towers

Aw, but I gave you some feedback on it. Just not through the forums. Anyway, I don't want to overstep my bounds or anything, but I guess part of giving feedback is telling people what you think, so I'll just go ahead.

I already told you my thoughts about the Tony Hawk think and the Tekken/Streetfighter jokes, and the whole Atreides and Skywalker thing. Atreides would SO kick Skywalker's butt. But the "tragic hero/self-fulfilling destiny/prophesy" aspects (particularly in DUNE) sort of fit in with the comic as well. I just liked that touch. Try to be careful about obscure references. In the right doses, they're funny and quirky. Just try not to get too obscure.
And I already said what I thought about what you did with the text in the last issue.

Stuff that I didn't say much about though:
Sometimes your proportion/perspective is off a little, but that's not necessarily bad, it adds a 'funhouse' effect that perhaps accents rather than detracts from the comic. Be really careful with it, though.

You played some good psychological games with the reader. The first time you introduced the guy talking about the "giant robots" that were "everywhere", I wrote him off as a nut. Then, the second time you introduced him - in the midst of all of the craziness that was happening to Jonny - his version of reality seemed believeable compared to the "real thing".

Storytelling - generally clean cut most of the time. Sometimes it gets confusing, though. I'm the last person to be lecturing on confusing storytelling, to tell you the truth, but I'll just keep talking because it's 4 am and I'm sleep-deprived. Anyway, sometimes I get the feeling that this is intentional and mirrors Jonny's own feelings of "exactly what the hell is going on?!". That's actually kind of clever. On the other hand, sometimes there are simply odd points where I'm not quite sure what to make of things (i.e. the snake-lady and the weird octopus chicken thing and the guys busting down the door). I don't know if it was intentional or not but it did make things difficult to follow. I suspect they're questions you raised in order to answer later on... I'm sure we'll find out what happened with the chicken-thing. Just that, for now, it's sort of hard to make out exactly what's going on with that part of the storyline.

And I already gave my sentiments on the sprite comic and "webcomic readership involvement" thing.