You all knew it was gonna happen sooner or later...

Hi everyone. I've had a pretty shitty day, and have been finding it extremely funny. no, really. get this: I got Maced in the head. I'm not talking about pepper spray. Full-on spikey-ball on a chain, attached to a two-hand stick mideval MACE. it was fun.
now, I know some other people might not like the idea of my blood coating a linolium floor, but I'm annoying as hell, it was going to happen sooner or later.
did anyone know that a mace is an illegal weapon in the province of alberta?
the police thought when I called that it was pepper sprey. no no, a MACE. the good news is that aside from the most 1337 scar in the universe, I'm gonna be completely fine. no concussion, no ceribral damage... ooh I'm in a good mood.
and i diddn't even FEEL my tetnus shot.
heh. the bad news is that I'm still bleeding from my hairline. sorry I couldn't post on sunday.
aaaaanyways, now that I've reaffirmed my inability to be knocked unconcius, and am washing up, I just figured it'd be cool to let you all know. hell, my family doesn't.
heh heh, I can withstand a mace to the head and come out..... standing. WHEEEEEE!!!!!
.
Attended Otafest at the University of calgary on saturday. Fun fun, silly willy. had a sketch/characature of me done that I'll be posting next week. told you I look like my avitar.
wait, you all havent seen it yet.... nevermind....

ALSO: I've just finished catching up with the comic, and am STILL wondering what's up with hedge. mebbe he'll kidnap tedd on the way to the girls bathroom? waaaait, he's a GOOD guy.
....right?
anyhow, sorry for the execcive swears involved in this post, I edited nothing this time around.
-Acanous, GOD's Protected IMMORTAL, Guardian of Earth, Keeper of the Gate of Three.

How the heck can you get hit by a Mace? And, was it by accident... (Insert ominous music)

tease.


:rock:
(look at him go!)

no, no. I was maced on purpoise, full striength.
and it's surprisingly easy to get maced. ironic, tho that the guy who did it is ALSO the villain of my comic... which as of yet hasn't appeared on the net. well, not REALLY.
but he collected a few illegal weapons off of Roy the Magic Genie, and used the mace on me.
(Roy the Magic Genie is a real person, the "the Magic Genie" is just his nickname)
and a Mace actually doesn't hurt much more than a punch to the head, really. although everyone was saying that I was lucky to be alive. you should have SEEN the look on the doctor's face when I told him how i got it. this one's a story for the history books.
apperently, not many can take a mace to the top left side of the head and walk away with just a "Bump and a Scratch", but than again, the last time a mace was actively used on someone was..... mebbe 50 years ago?
fact: bringing a mace to bear on someone with both hands leaves you wide open.
I wonder how they were ever used effectively? I mean, mabie if you did that sort of thing to an arm...
and I'm kinda pissed at myself. i thought I was immune to shock. I'm not. I can just delay it for 5 minutes or so. shock sucks ass. it's hard to laugh. heck, it's hard to move.
I wonder if a bullet hurts more or less than a mace? if more, ow.
if less, KEWL!
... I don't wanna find out, but really. a bullet leaves one hole... a mace leaves three. but a bullet goes all the way through... but a mace leaves more impact... unless the bullet is coming from a kickass gun of doom, which is pretty much anything that's not a handgun.
this requires some thought.
-Acanous

hold still while I find a gun (hard in Scotland but I know some farmers) and we will test it. Scientifically of course, which means 3 tests for accuracy, and 3 controls (with the mace).

I think you are meant to swing it one handed not two, and at the face would be best too. Come to think of it (thinks hard) you'd be doing pretty well not smacking yourself with it given its on a chain.

it's surprisingly not that hard to avoid smacking yourself with the modern mace, after all, the stick is a foot long, giving wide clearance, the grip is rope-taped, making slippage highly unlikely, and the thing's ball heavy, so if you dropped it, it would flop, not rocket t'ward you.
there's some pretty good speeds you can hit with that thing, but one handed is a no-no. using one hand will likely get you hit if you miss your target. two hands give you more controll. as for finding farmers with guns...... I'm glad you don't live in wisconson.
meh, I'm in Alberta. not a farmer in the world would get within ten thousand miles of me, for PH34R of the MAD COW!!!!
yes, the ONE MAD COW!!! the one FRENCH MAD COW!!!!
fear the mad cow. It's responcible for the deaths of hundreds, and the number is on the rise.
it's like a really bad B-movie.

Was it skill, or strength that has let you be able to post after this incident?
(Could have been poor blind luck too, but whats the fun in that?)

I guess you could call it blind faith.
it goes like this: I'm Acanous, GOD's Immortal. that's just what I am. I could have been shot eleventy-billion times and I'd still post. why? because we all live in our own mini-universe of the mind.
in mine, I know the LORD looks out for me, and won't let anything serious happen. in someone elses', I may be lying dead right now, or in a coma. but i live in this one, as do you. so here I am *Takes a bow* the really warped part is when you jump universes. I have. it gets messed.
and that's your lesson on applied theology for the day.
-Acanous, GOD's Immortal.

PH34R of the MAD COW!!!!

i'm from Britain. we invented it. So I have no fears myself of the cow.

Aren't they now slaughtering more there though on that?

yeah... the one mad cow just made everything "Go crazy Go nuts". I dunno the current tally. there were at least 5 herds slaughtered and burned.

Beef, it's what isn't for dinner anymore. Well, maybe it is, but not for me.

yeah. I still love alberta beef. hell, it won't kill me. ;)
oh yeah, krunchy hits these forums, doesn't he...?
IF YOU'RE READING THIS, LOOK!!! I WAS NEVER GODMODDING!
simply stating the truth.
:)

Ow my forehead it hurts.
at least the bleeding stopped.
uhg.

Sweet merciful jeebus; I'm with the people who said you're lucky to be alive. A freakin' mace, man... those things are made for cracking things open. And by "things" I mean "skulls." I take it the guy who took that swing at you is in some deep crud with the cops, then?

yup. and with family and friends and with a few other things, too.
but gimme _SOME_ credit; i mean, my skull's pretty thick.
I might have been in more shit if the thing had its spikes actively sharpened.
but yeh. now I'm at a cafe, with a big-assed band-aid on my head.
band-aids can make _ANYTHING_ feel better, if they're big enough.
and the mace was.... disposed of....
I kinda wanted it, tho... I mean, I could have applied to be a member of the minutemen if i had one...
yeah, you hear a lot about old-skool weapons when ya been decked by one.
my pulse is apperently 80, BTW, and my blood type is O.
I can donate whatever i want to anyone, buti don't think they'd want it.
after all, it's all red and icky and doesn't even taste good on toast. :P
-Acanous

I feel sorry for you Acanous. I hope you get patched up and get well soon and explain how on Earth you got maced (sorry, your paragraphs confound my every attempt as decephering, this is not a new thing)

oh, I
m patched up. I'll be better in a couple of days.
and I got maced whilst sitting on the couch, I'll hafta 'splain it some other time as right now i'm tiiiiired
and don't feel sorry for those with head injuries, we think it's funny.
really, we do. it might SOUND like uncontrollable sobbing, but it's really well disguised laughter.

thanks for the concern, tho, everyone. I hope that if you guys ever get bashed in the head that you can post about it and we can all chat like this ;)
that's just warped, Acanous....
danmit, I'm TYPING to myself!

Ow ow ow.

As for being lucky, maces were designed to cave in armour (and therefore, skulls) so a glancing blow that does minimal damage is probably a result of an inexperienced wielder.

Still... major ow ow ow. >.<

oh no! is the couch alright?

and now...

Magno's daily trivia!

A mace is a stick attached to a blunt head, used to beat things.
A morningstar is similar to a mace, but with spikey doom attached to the blunt head.
A flail has a chain conecting the spikey ball o' doom to the handle.

well, that's according to wizards of the coast.

and now we return to a point.

wow! acanous, will you be my new hero?

Glad to see your back Ac, hope your head fewls better and dont worry if you start to see purple elephants, it expected in head trauma cases like yours

It's a shame you wern't around in the Middle Ages, you'd make a great knight!
Hit by a mace and still standing?
Wow...

Ac could have been the black knight in 'quest for the holy grail'

''Mace in the head sir? tis only a light scratch''

I think that you might want to have a talk with this 'friend' of your about his self-control later. :hammer: As for his lack of skill, I think that became fairly obvious about the same time he started swinging the flail at you like it was a toy. Well, anywho. Here's to your speedy recovery, Acanous. :cheers:

I don't think blood tastes good with anything, but on itself it's not too bad. Trust me, I have skin problems. Oh yeah, OOOOOOWWW!!!!! That MUST have hurt, whatever you say! Could you explain more about how it happened?

Bah. They lie. Blood does taste good on toast.

Glad to see your okay, Ac. If anyone gets to beat your head in with spikey doom, it's me. :devious:

Really? Never tried... you see, when I bleed because of my skin problems it isn't enough to put on toast.

Is it a psorias kind of condition? I had that bad for a few years and my thumb would sometimes bleed if I jammed it bad because my fingers were so dry (always needed lotion)

Originally posted by spc mango
A mace is a stick attached to a blunt head, used to beat things.
A morningstar is similar to a mace, but with spikey doom attached to the blunt head.
A flail has a chain conecting the spikey ball o' doom to the handle.

well, that's according to wizards of the coast.

That sounds about right. Wizards (and TSR etc.) got it correct I believe...

That's neat. Wizards of the Coast was supposed to have a big booth at the Book Expo America convention. I read their listing. And most exhibitors have freebies. 20,000 free books in all was the number I heard when I was there the day they were setting things up. And author signings...

Originally posted by Major Kerina
Is it a psorias kind of condition? I had that bad for a few years and my thumb would sometimes bleed if I jammed it bad because my fingers were so dry (always needed lotion)

Something like that I think. I too always need lotion, plus a special one so that I don't get ichy all over. I've got it over my whole body you see. It sucks, but I've got really good lotions right now so only my hands and face are still ichy from time to time.

:( That's good. I hope that you keep it under control. I know unfortunately that those things don't go away. But I think in my case it's more environmental since I live is such a dry climate here in the desert. It's mainly my finger tips from time to time that get a little scaly

Don't start on skin diseases: I rule on that subject.

Something about me always attracts the wierd medical problems and I have to see specialists about them (including today actually). Dental, skin, eyes, I have undiagonasable medical conditions everywhere.

This oness not infectious though, so don't worry, you won't be affected! pretty bloody wierd looking though, some sort of "cellular trauma" under my hair has caused this. sympathetic damage?

Skin deseases suck!

I've got this one where all the cells seperating from my head cluster toghether, making for a very unpleasant effect to look at. Kind of like dandruff, but a whole lot more, and on the entire head and neck. I think that best describes my condition. Fortunately I only have problems with it in winter. Fortunate and very strange. It seems to be triggered by water. So if I stay away from water, there's mostly no problem at all.

MACE TO THE HEAD? A MACE TO THE HEAD?!?!? I took a self inflicted frying pan of punishment to the head to make up for missing friends birthday party. I was bleeding through 90% of the pores in my head. (used a 2345 pound (needed to be sure))

ouch...

Hey, friends are important. Oh glad to hear the guy who started this is feeling better.

I'm glad to say that the one person who beat me unconcious was certainly not a friend...

Whee! love it when my threads go off-topic.
to Krunchy: WOW! I'm not on your ignore list?? that's kinda surprising, actually. but yeah, I know how bad you wanna sink your zombie weaponry into my Immortal flesh, had a dream about just that sorta thing last night, actually... mebbe one day on battle.net...

To Mango: Sure I'll be your hero! Haven't seen you around in a while, glad to know you are still here. Immortals Anonymous goes up on the 15th, in a yahoo sight of my own design, groups.yahoo.com/group/Acanous
never worked as a group, but it'll be just fine for a comic repository.

TO THE PEOPLE WITH SKIN CONDITIONS!!!!
You have my sympathy and my barf bag.

more stuff: I wasn't beaten unconsious, I was standing at the end. I can't lose consiousness. I've tried. I also have unbreakable bones.

Wizards of the coast has a magic card named "Arcanis the Omnipotent"
it was dubbed my card. Krunchy can propably tell you why.
and it's not just the name, iether.

But yeah, my life is just peachy. I'm getting more money and COOL stuff.

but yeah, I'm gonna do s'more forum browsing, and than play some Jedi knight.
-Acanous never knew that the zombies of the Apocolypse were the GOOD guys