Paradise CA : Re-Evaluation

Long ago, I posted my comic for shameless plug and stuff. Of course, it just started. so not many people took interest(plus, the site used to be on tripod, so no one dared to touch it). Now, with new hosting and new site layouts, Paradise CA is up to 78 comics and the art style evoled. Not that good, but enough to be okay. Right now, Im trying to get more simple domain, but my host is busy as hell so I cant do much with new domain name. Probably by end of month, I'll get the new domain name up and running. Until then...

Paradise CA : the webcomic (http://paradiseca.kouritenshi.net)

Aw c'mon. gimme something.
(p.s : new banners under developement)

well, i'm-a gonna be blunt...you've still got a lot of work to do.
the problem is, its boring. there are two reasons for this...
1- the art...its ALL either a side view, or a head-on view. i don't think i've seen ANY other 'camera angle' besides those two. sure, they're simple to draw, but they have no drama in them. your characters also aren't very expressive at all. its like they're robots.

2- your writing needs a lot of re-tooling, too. one of the big issues is that the end of each comic fails as a cliff hanger, which you usually try to make. i commend you for that. but i have zero interest in looking to another page. this is also a problem due to the largely cut and paste, front and side view art.

also, your use of fonts really stuck out. all SFX are white. with black outlines. and they're supposed to be explosions. they should be HUGE! and the color should lend to the fact that theres an explosion happening! explosions aren't white. they're red, orange, yellow. firey colors.
also, you use comic sans. 'the mark of a newbie' and 78 comics in, you should know better by now! heh- tsk tsk!

going back to the art, its seems like you're in that intermediate phase between novice and...uh...intermidiate. perhaps thats why you're in that phase. either way, its more child like then it is anime. which is obviously what you're gunnin' for. to be honest, if it wasn't trying to be a manga and maybe something more along the lines of, oh say, WILT, or even something like the gods of ar-kellan (or however the devil you spell it!). but as a color manga? it only hurts it.
practice makes perfect in the world of drawing, but judging by what you've got, you aren't pushing yourself at all. you've gotten to a point, it seems, where i recognize them as characters, and you seem content with that. for example, this comic (http://paradiseca.kouritenshi.net/Comics73.htm), in the frame w/ the eyes close up. it'd have been SO MUCH more effective if you'd have just made it a 3/4 view. but i suspect you know that that is a limitation you have. i'm saying work over it.
DAZZLE ME with your art. in a comic like this, the art IS more important then the story. its whats supposed to draw me in.

also, you suffer from the usual...mediocore site design. i'm a stickler for that. i often think people read my posts and think, "god damn samfish says the same god damn things every god damn time!".
well, i'm gonna say it again! your navigation sucks. i have to click on the archives to get to any point in the navigations. its off to the left of the comic. you're using manga temple as graphics buttons. big ones. but yet, i still don't see them. my eye glosses over them every time. this is largly due to the fact that they're centered LEFT! they should be in the CENTER of the comic. center centered, if you will. also, you're using times for your fonts. that is bad. very very baaaa-aaad. arial. helvetica. something other then a serif. old people can't read that crap. only use times when you're writing an article or something else thats really lengthy. you've established a color scheme, though. thats good. and take down that donate banner. do you REALLY need money to keep the site going? are you going through bandwidth that fast? considering you're a sub-domain, i have my doubts. my the MAIN reason i say that it down is because it competes w/ your comic. and the irony is, that vertical donate banner is more interesting to look at the the actual comic! d'oh!

back to the writing, because i'm really hoping around here...your dialouge is weeeaaaakkkk! there is almost no real character development after 78 pages. you achieve character develupment through story and dialouge. the dialouge is what helps us get to KNOW the characters. even they way the speak. do they talk like superman, and all homespun? or like batman, straight to the point? do they have speech impediments? accents? do they trail off in thier sentences when they talk? stuff like that. sure, letting the audience know so-and-so's mother died when they were 8 is character develupment, but its all about how you and your characters say/tell it.

anyhow, thats all i gots fer now. i'm sorry if its overly long/harsh/boring/repetative.
heh- hey, i felt moved by your comic to pick it apart.

I like it...

The again, coming from a guy who reads over 60 webcomics a week, plus has had 5 comics failed... is not all taht great of a compliment.

However, what I did like about it, to be contrary with Sam, is the art style. Yes, I can see an anime influence, but, I see enough of your own style mixed in, so that it doesn't strike me as another Manga wannabe webcomic.

Should've expected it. two reason why I cant get dynamic cameras right....
1. Time : with school and other stuff I do, no time to really get the camera angles right.
2. It's a mecha. It's frickin hard to get the angle right while trying to get the mecha design right. especially with Ryuujin's screwy design.

I had worse crit than this so dont worry. someone called my comic 'mediocore' and the dude with joker seems to say it with long-ass descriptions.

If it makes you feel any better, Im gonna redo some of the comics later when I have plenty of time.

P.s : no offense, but samfish's comment pissed me off a bit as if my day didnt go wrong already. Im sure he's a nice person per se, but I had to check this thread out in wrong time.

so I take it y'all hate it except for King-of-storm??

I don't beleive in the "I'v got school and other stuff to do" excuse. As far I can see, I seem to have school and stuff to do. Yet I somehow find the time to play around with the camera. Not that much, but enough to experiment. Even just changing the focus of the camera helps. Odd that.

But as overall drawing quality I'v seen much worst. Much much worst.

Wee !